BLAND

into the trees

2012-01-30T16:33:00.001-08:00

i ate some cinnamon life after work

in the shower i washed my hair with a bar of soap

and i could not stop peeing! (not in the shower but after)

the perfume we ordered online came in the mail

at $22.04 it was a good deal, considering the amount

i sprayed some on my pillow and it smelled good

it smelled like you!

but made my throat burn

todd rundgren

2011-12-11T00:21:00.000-08:00

aurora just took a bong rip, normally

and now she's sipping a pomtini

it's in a bottle

the cat jumps up near my head but i think it's someone else

andrew or greg, looking over my shoulder

i have maybe 2 or 3 more friends who aren't here right now

or 3 or 4, but that's about it

i didn't drink tonight

not drinking meant something earlier

andrew's playing this album he really likes and talking about it

and he also says something about woody's sarsaparilla

and this starfish his brother was holding in a video

it's going to be midnight in a few seconds

i was hoping for something maybe

it's been nice though, greg's got his christmas tree up

he fed me two hot dogs earlier, with lots of garnish

i keep taking my camera out of my bag and holding it in my hand

but then i put it back, not feeling it tonight

the lighting and decor in here is really weird

it feels like someone's uncle's, or great uncle's

some things are from other places

things that have just collected over the years

this oriental style tapestry with a misty mountain scene

i remember at our last house, feeling myself disappearing into this landscape

the leaves in the big tree moving

it could have been a thousand years i was in there

i hope we get some snow this year

i hope things will stay like this for a long time

i've pulled ahead of something bad

i hope it stays behind me

wastin' away again

2011-10-21T17:21:00.000-07:00

The song is a narrative overview of the singer's life for the previous season. He sings about laid-back living in a drunken haze in a beach community. "Margaritaville" is the mental state in which he exists during this period, induced—presumably—from the perpetual imbibing of margaritas. This is best illustrated in the last verse, when the singer goes for a walk, cuts his heel and returns home to ease his pain with the eponymous alcoholic beverage. The singer says that some friends surmise that he is reeling from a failed romance.

musical interests

2011-10-18T00:55:00.000-07:00

Jughead is the drummer for The Archies. In one four-part story, which included many flashbacks of Jughead's life, Archie had commented that the reason he'd chosen the position of drummer was that he was too introverted to play at the front of the stage. Another reason was that he could put food in his drums to eat while he played.

He has also professed a love for jazz music, once detailed in an issue of Jughead Magazine where he develops an obsession with an obscure jazz drummer named "Crazy" Willie Jim. After collecting his records, Jughead finally met Jim, who was now very old, ailing and reclusive, playing on a street corner. Jughead convinced Jim that he was trustworthy and they became fast friends. Jim even played with The Archies at one of their gigs. Jim died very soon after, so Jughead sat in with Jim's friends on the corner to play one last, mournful version of "St. James Infirmary Blues".

poem written on the 3rd floor of a bougy ass yaletown vancouver residence

2011-10-09T16:56:00.000-07:00

people have money right

right yeah they have money right

my sister and her boyfriend they have money apparently

loft living

loft living at its finest

where da money

where da money at whereeeeeeeee

sup

thought catalog how to eat a dick

2011-09-30T00:18:00.000-07:00

i've seen girls look good in maiden hoodies

after midnight, riding the bus to your apartment

i've heard someone else's headphones, ominously

in the kitchen in the dark, what kind of sandwiches do you like

crossing the bay st. bridge and that big pile of whatever sulfur or whatever

who cares whrovcares whocares whaoarcares

want to try chinese beer

2011-09-21T20:07:00.000-07:00

advil.odt

2011-09-18T22:47:00.000-07:00

moviees

it's going to rain today i can feel

drinking pbr in the shower

drinking something in the something

people who do that

john cougar mellencamp, age 36

cantebury dark mild

fried egg instead of bacon on my blt

not asking myself the right questions what questions

what is healthy and what is less healthy

what is the same, i wonder

i want to know have you ever listened to the doobie brothers

chloroform

something makes me feel something now i feel something else

gin and tonic makes your breath smell good, i read that in esquire

i don't know if that's true or if anything's true

i keep messing this up

gin and tonic makes your breath smell good

h0mies

2011-09-15T22:17:00.000-07:00

i should be doing something elses,trying to sleep

i wanna get up early tomorroew, make a sandwihc for work

thats hard though, i always think sleeping of something impossible that makes it so i dont have to get up

iwanna drink tea in the morning for caffeine

im lying down in a position thats a combination of lying on my side and lying on my back, the laptop is on my left

its hard to tpye things coreectly like this if i dont want ot lift my head up anymore

odont want to n lfie my head up anymore

do u blaze

2011-09-02T00:26:00.000-07:00

haha woooah i posted this on my other blog by accident

aight how am i gonna describe this thing that happened

uhhhhhhhhh ok

it was a dream i had earlier while i was taking a nap

ok but before i talk about that, there's something else weird that happened

when i woke up i turned on my computer and right-clicked the desktop and clicked Personalize

but like, i was trying to start OpenOffice

like, for a minute, i thought thats how you start OpenOffice

anyway in the dream i was at work, but there was water for some reason

this piece of equipment or something had got dropped in the water and i was supposed to go in the water and salvage it

i was supposed to wear my respirator (i wear a respirator at work) and somehow it would let me breathe underwater

i asked someone to tell me how to salvage it or like what exactly i was supposed to do and he said "use your Kid A thoughts"

like the album Kid A by radiohead

he said: "Kid A thoughts. that's the name of my blog, Kid A thoughts"

huh..

sup everyone

2011-08-29T00:26:00.000-07:00

shallow is a literary blog or whatever edited by me, currently featuring work by megan boyle, ana c, stephen tully dierks, victoria durnak, david fishkind, zachary german, audun mortensen, erik stinson and elaine sun

http://letscallourbandtheyeahyeahyeahs.blogspot.com

you can send stuff to zacharywhalen@gmail.com

be chill

selected writing

2011-08-25T22:35:00.000-07:00

2012
into the trees

2011
todd rundgren
canucks riot
tropicana pure premium
yacht club
it's hard to look at things today
nature valley
three poems
420 anthem (hiphiphooray press)
you could just walk outside and start shooting ppl
dubstep ringtones (maggie lee's tumblr)
my favorite urban dictionary words (maggie lee's tumblr)
golden wedding
orange soda poem
untitled
reflections on a summer's day (let people poems)
factory job
early sloan (self published poetry e-book)
TooManyTabs for CHrome
BRUCE FRISKO (self-published poetry e-book feat. jasmin whalen)
9/11 truth
meditation on life and nature (let people poems)
ART 175: Design History
ENGL 160: Introduction to Literature
ENGL 156: Creative Writing: Poetry 1
ASIA 111: Contemporary Asia-Pacific
PHIL 102: Central Issues in Philosophy
50% off ed hardy
how to meet girls
carb lovers diet
sometimes life is good and other times, no, it's not (metazen)
three poems (unsure if i will allow my beard to grow for much longer)
house meeting
poem

2010
nirvana kurt cobain
1591 (for every year)
five poems (new wave vomit)
dinosaurs
#1 tip of a flat belly
Town and Country (The)
two poems (The Legendary)
DRIVING THROUGH NEW MEXICO DRUNK AT NIGHT WITH NO HEADLIGHTS IS SOMETHING I WILL PROBABLY NEVER DO. (ditch,)

selected mike tyson quotes w/ line breaks

2011-08-24T23:14:00.000-07:00

i like the hip writers

fitzgerald

the guy who committed suicide hemingway

all those guys

some of them were alcoholics and drug addicts

but they had fun

they were real people

they formed the culture of american literature

hemingway admired tolstoy

tolstoy admired pushkin

and mailer admired hemingway

it all flows down

the greats are all connected

one day i'm gonna write a book myself

the first chapter will be about what a rough deal my momma got

she believed in you guys and your society

i can talk about humility

but i'm not humble

i mean

if you say 'i'm humble' you've just contradicted yourself

but i'm trying to be, man

i'm trying so hard

y'all guys can't define me or define my work as a father

i'm many things i'm many things you know

yeah i'm a convicted rapist

i'm a hell raiser

i'm a father i'm a loving father

i'm, you know,

a semi-good husband

you know what i mean?

you know i'm just a man out here trying to enjoy my

you know I was born poor i ain't never had nothing

i don't know how to act but the real thing is

i'm just here to be me

i don't care about what anyone thinks at this stage in my life

but yeah, i'm pretty much a tyrant titan

yeah thats who I am

i'm not used to sensitivity any more

when I see people cry when I lose

save your tears

i don't know how to handle people crying any more

i lost my sensitivity like that

please

you embarrass me when you cry

because I don't know what to do when you cry

i don't know what to say

one morning i woke up and found my favorite pigeon

julius

had died

i was devastated

and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him

i left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something

and i returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher

i rushed him and caught him flush on the temple

with a titanic right hand

he was out cold

convulsing on the floor

like an infantile retard

i think i'm a pig

i have this uncanny ability

to look at myself in the mirror and say

'this is a pig'

'you are a fucking piece of shit'

i'll never be happy

i believe i'll die alone

i would want it that way

i've been a loner all my life

with my secrets and my pain

i'm really lost

but I'm trying to find myself

i'm really a sad, pathetic case

my whole life has been a waste

i've been a failure

i just want to escape

i got a imam

i got a rabbi

i got a priest

i got a reverend

i got 'em all

but i don't want to be holier-than-thou

i want to help everybody

and still get some (sex)

i just have this thing inside me

that wants to eat and conquer

maybe it's egotistical

but i have it in me

i don't want to be a tycoon

i just want to conquer people and their souls

i'm just like you

i enjoy the forbidden fruits in life, too

i think it's un-american not to go out with a woman

not to be with a beautiful woman

not to get my dick sucked

it's just what i said before

everybody in this country is a big fucking liar

the media tells people that this person did this and this person did that

and then we find out that we're just human

and we find out that michael jordan cheats on his wife

just like everybody else

and that we all cheat on our fucking wife

in one way or another

you guys would rather be with someone else

who's equal to your status in life

tiger woods, or somebody

i come across as crass

a neanderthal

a babbling idiot sometimes

i like to show you that person

i like that person

he makes you want to come and listen to me

i'm not too interested in these swan songs i'm continuing to hear

i'm just mike

i'm a peasant

i'm here to entertain the people

i'm no elite person

at one stage in my life, i had my little jewelry

and all my little girlfriends

and my big cars and things

at one point i thought life was about acquiring things

but as a I get older life is totally about losing everything

as life goes on, we lose more than we acquire

i don't want the finest girl in the world anymore

i'm just trying to stay balanced, basically

being a champion opens lots of doors

i'd like to get a real estate license

maybe sell insurance

worsd of wisdom

2011-08-22T16:33:00.000-07:00

red sky at night, sailor's delight

red sky at morning, sailor take warning

just a lil something i remember someone saying

now take that shit and apply it to YOUR life

(via knowing if weather's alright for sailing, i guess)

peace

raw shit pt2

2011-08-21T02:51:00.001-07:00

raw shit

2011-08-20T23:23:00.000-07:00

fuckein

listenin to odb

like

seems good an shit

wtf bloggers doestn understan

line breaks an shit

fuckin gay home shit

gottya

mgd is a good all round beer

good tast goood price

ol millwaukee's good

whateve u might say millawak's good

fucknei life in shit

typin n hsit

triyn not to crrect this shit but im correctin it a lil bit

fuckein every time i ht enter the scern goes down but not the typer thing

f
fuck

blgoer

fuck

fdgd

coelllege shit

fuck cant type

jsuts typesd

whats godd

god;

good bands

stelly dan

uh

menat work

uh

slaon

k gues im gonna

live lifes n shit

(c) steve rogtgenbuck

lives life

i mean irl

justn gtfo here

daMN

L8TERS

untitled

2011-08-15T00:32:00.000-07:00

my clothes are in the wash

i'm in bed thinking about

what i should watch on netflix tonight

or if i should make a plate of

spaghetti and just read

some mishima or something

i went to the store earlier

to buy a 1.5 litre aquafina

just so i could have a bottle

to drink water out of

i'm drinking water right now

in my bed, seems like

canadian netflix has so much less

than american netflix

i've never been to america

but i guess i hear that they have more

or something

something else i hear

is that a lot of things are cheaper there

'but they don't have free healthcare' i guess

i can't even imagine what that would be like

seems like, third world or something

what else

my feet are cold

the clothes in dryer are done now so

maybe i'll put socks on my feet

but then will they be too hot

i'm setting the alarm on my phone

to wake me up for work tommorrow

i set one alarm at 5:45

and another at 6:00

i've never used the snooze button

seems like not enough time

like what is it five minutes

seems like not enough

maybe i should try to sleep

i haven't been getting much done

i've been taking naps lately just for the dreams

which seem better than tv or actual life

there's garbage all over my room

and i meant to get a haircut this weekend

but i guess i didn't

what else

there's someone laughing next door

there's always someone laughing next door

and a large moth is flying into the ceiling

and that's also making a sound

greg said something yesterday

about how there's a lot of moths in this city

and i guess it's true

there are a lot of moths in this city

now there's somebody taking a shower

in the bathroom next to my room

11:49 pm, weird time to take a shower

although it does feel good

to shower before bed

this poem is getting long now

i hope this counts as a poem

like because of line breaks or whatever

and i think it's about something

maybe, or it's not

and that could be something, right

there are people who know about poems, right

do they know something

i wish i could just know something

how do people know things

im real ok

2011-08-08T22:17:00.000-07:00

i made a poem out of some notes i took yesterday

also...

idk i was gonna write something about being depressed, how it never feels good to wake up

then i was going to write something about my job, how i like having money better than i like writing i think

then something else, just a third topic idk

(uhh searching 'aids herpes' on google image search is a bad idea...)

early sloan

2011-08-01T17:37:00.000-07:00

early sloan (pdf, 2011)

a collection of poems by zachary whalen

available here

update: put it on issuu

Open publication - Free publishing - More poems

review of 'phillips ginger beer'

2011-07-20T21:46:00.000-07:00

what is it: its beer from a brewery in victoria

thoughts: yeh ilike it.. shits prrety good

stuff i am/was readign

2011-07-17T19:51:00.000-07:00

'and then i disappeared again' by erik stinson

pretty cool. got the pdf a few months ago and ive been reading it on my computer. i like it. seems good every time i read it. i printed it out so i could leave it by my bed and read it whenevs.

'confessions of a mask' by yukio mishima

i'm reading this right now. like a third of the way into it. its pretty good.

'absence of the hero' by charles bukowski

reading this right now. its been a while since i read anything by bukowski. seems like a couple years ago i just burned out on it. but then the other day i was really depressed and went it to chaptters, like 'desperately' or something. i saw this and bought it. idk. its like what you would expect if you have read him before. i guess it is a pretty good collection, like it has lots of stuff i haven't seen before. idk.

'east of eden' by john steinbeck

i was supposed to read this for an english class but i dropped out but then i started reading it anyway. yeah.. its just really.. i don't like it. the characters sound like, not normal or something. i guess there are parts that i like but then it just keeps being really shitty and i can't get into it. i stopped reading it and just read the wikipedia page. seems like enough.

'tales of love and loss' by knut hamsun

i've read like half of it. the stories are ok, i like them i think. kinda boring though, like makes me sleepy to read sometimes.

gotham writers' workshop fiction gallery

i took this from one of those 'neighborhood libraries' or whatever they are called... u know like those bookshelves that are just out on the street and you can take books off them... you are supposed to trade or something i think. anyway, yeah. i've only read the carver story, 'whoever was using this bed' which was pretty good. i started reading this other thing about a fat janitor but it sucked. we'll see i guess.

brucefrisko.pdf

2011-07-11T20:25:00.000-07:00

BRUCE FRISKO

a collection of poems compiled from emails between me and my sister

(made this in early 2010. submitted it to some places, forgot about it, found it again, re-edited, forgot about, someone sorta accepted it, forgot about it, etc...)

download here

lapdance in the vip

2011-06-27T17:17:00.000-07:00

i used to enjoy taking showers but now idk

before i showered in the morning but now i shower in the afternoon (after work)

just seems really tiring because i'm so dirty and i have to scrub really hard

and its hard to breathe because theres too much steam

and when i get out of the shower i feel like i'm going to pass out

i think its becoming the shittiest part of my day but not sure what to do because i hate not showering

life is shitty, overall, i feel

fucken boo yeah lets kill ourselves

2011-06-21T21:01:00.001-07:00

i saw 'a' channel news anchor hudson mack today (irl)

he was taller and thinner than on tv

he saw me looking at him and he looked at me (seemed like he was weirded out)

we made eye contact like twice in a brief period

barack hussein obama

2011-05-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

review of 'speed stick' by mennen

2011-02-17T23:43:00.000-08:00

what is it: 'rub-on' deodorant. comes in various sizes ('tall' size pictured)

thoughts: seems like the best deodorant. smells good, not too musky but also not like 'axe' or whatever, which smells like cologne. seems to last a long time, like ~1.5 days. i also like the logo. feels like classic or something and not trying too hard. i keep a medium-sized stick in the pocket of my jacket in case i forget to put some on in the morning.

review of tetley's 'smooth flow' light english ale

2011-02-17T23:26:00.000-08:00

what is it: beer. 3.6% alc/vol. comes in a 4-pack of 440ml cans.

thoughts: tastes alright. i guess i didn't realize it was a light beer when i bought it. seems ok though. i wonder if it has any relation to the tea.

review of 'this is controversial' by ana c.

2011-02-17T23:10:00.000-08:00

what is it: art/poetry book. 1 story and 8 poems by ana c, each with corresponding artwork by various artists.

thoughts: i was surprised that there was a prologue to this book, written by amaranta guevara and acting as a sort of introduction to ana's writing. seems appropriate because this book feels like kind of a bigger deal than just a chapbook. after the prologue, there's a story about rape and barbies, which establishes the tone and i guess sort of the 'philosophy' or whatever in the book. contains the line 'sex is great, but stupid,' which seems to kinda sum up ana's approach to writing about sex (which i wrote about in my other review). there is a good balance of sort of mundane/funny poems (e.g. 'tits and oranges') and poems that are more serious (e.g. 'old paint peels off'). seems to deal with emotions and subjects that are a little more complex than in her previous book, but still does so without seeming corny. like doesn't spend too much time trying to describe an emotion, instead just describes what is happening or what could be happening, if that makes sense. the artwork in the book is pretty cool. goes well with the poems i think. my favorite piece i think is 'obstacle between my legs.' each piece is perforated so you can cut them out and hang them if you want. seems cool if you are into art or whatever. anyway, good book, i like it a lot, recommend it to anyone.

review of 'make-believe love-making' by ana c.

2011-02-17T22:04:00.000-08:00

what is it: poetry chapbook. 21 poems, i think (had to count them).

thoughts: i like it. the poems are mostly about sex. some are written in a pretty blunt style, others use metaphors, but like, in a way that isn't corny. like the metaphor will usually involve some awkward/everyday detail or object being treated in a way that adds to the overt sexuality or whatever, rather than being a euphemism. i also like that the poems seem to be about 'real' feelings without being melodramatic. not too detached but also not making a big deal out of everything. so yeah, i really like it overall. people should get it if it's still available.

review of 'pepsi throwback'

2011-02-17T21:24:00.000-08:00

what is it: pepsi made with 'real sugar'

thoughts: at first i thought it tasted like normal pepsi. after a few sips i sort of noticed how it was slightly better (re 'aftertaste' or something). overall i feel pretty indifferent, but i guess i would buy it again if i ever felt like drinking pepsi.

2011-02-10T15:11:00.000-08:00

50% off ed hardy

why can't people make better choices
like choosing to kill themselves maybe
white people with dreadlocks and face piercings
i don't want to talk to / look at them

2011-02-09T18:14:00.000-08:00

how to meet girls

fuck u mom
for giving birth to me
b/c everything that has ever happened has sucked
and yeah i'm pretty sure the future will also suck

2011-02-08T17:49:00.000-08:00

carb lovers diet

fuck i am so lonely when i'm alone
should i just kill myself and how would i do it
what is the point of being alive, just seems so boring / weak
oh god damn fuck my life someone on facebook is preggy again

pitchfork's top 100 albums of the 1990s

2011-01-22T07:58:00.000-08:00

point form shit that has happened:

three poems published at michael inscoe's thing
one poem translated into spanish by luna miguel
one poem forthcoming at metazen
one video uploaded by my roommate andrew:

and yeah some other shit happened but i can't remember. look at my tumblr or something.

i have a bunch of stuff to read for school so i guess a lot books that i was going to read are on the back burner now. or like, i'll read them, but really slowly.

i feel like

nothing. i don't know. nothing to blog about really except updating and whatever. i'm too lazy to even look up a stupid picture or something. shitty.

ok i'll post this thing i made out of emails with crispin best. i don't know what else to do with it, i'll just post it.

ok, bye.

unattributed selections from [30+ email correspondence w/ crispin best re subject line: '1591 submission']

this is a poem i wrote for the year 1591

the poem is over now, thanks for looking at it

where, if any place, would you like me to link to?

i apologise

and thanks for sending this

your email was exciting, made me feel 'pumped'

pumpers like to pump

pumpers need to pump

let's pump

FAMOUS=YOU

sweet thing you wrote re pee

should have sent it to the new yorker instead of 'blowing it' on my tumblr

~desperately googling trying "how much does the new yorker pay for journalism" and "what is the payment per word for "new yorker" fiction"

would you consider publishing 'fiction' as 'memoir' for more money via the new yorker

or are you afraid of possible 'backlash' (ie 'james frey')

i would feel unafraid of backlash b/c oprah is retiring

let's start a kickstarter account to raise money re campaign to get oprah elected for pope

(and use the money to buy drugs)

don't know why this interaction is taking place via email, but honestly don't feel like i have the stamina to 'commit' to a gmail chat right now

something to do with skateboarding/surfing is relevant, maybe

dogtown and the z-boys

tony hawks

grind session

skate or die

california games

california dreams (via "surf dudes w/ attitude")

indy nosebone

360 heelflip

ollie manual

collect five letters to form the word SKATE

let's go with it

ytf r u even awake bro?

wut time is it or something u r my hero

but don't ~identify with 'the english flag' b/c 'seems racist and/or to have been appropriated by racists'

i have been to vancouver/vancouver island (via 'i was a well-travelled tween')

seems like that email comprised 'entirety of what i thought on way to work' because i neglected to close speech marks or whatever

my point was that (hehehe this will sound funny) i must have been thinking about yoghurt rly hard because i got to work and put my ipod down and saw i had been listening to [some anco song from 'feels' that i didn't really know/recognise the name of] for like ~9mins, and upon ~rewinding the track, i felt sure i had never heard it before

seem to remember looking for 'cool-seeming ~silver chains/pendants' in [some ~street market on vancouver island]

bought a necklace in san franciso that had a bat on it. bought one in seattle that had an 'axe' on it. the axe had a ruby embedded. later on, we stayed at a motel in 'concrete' (lol @ placenames, damn) and i fainted and hit my throat on the bed and later freaked out that 'cowboy ghosts' were trying to kill me via 'coalescing the universe' and then using gravity to embed this tiny axe in my voicebox

english flag is 'st george's cross' or something

kind of like denmark's flag but colours switch and 'align: center'

i think it would be funny to use [any flag] as a 'cum rag'

not as a 'political statement' or anything... just like, i don't know... 'obliviously'/'nonchalantly'

canada is ok, i kinda like how it is the 'blandest' of all countries possibly... yeah, idk...

feel like you should know that i 'fucked up'

feel like a dirty rotten little shit for lying to you like that

(it was an honest mistake via 'the bravery c.2004')

yeah

damn i have milli vanilla going round in my head

bloody tampons coalescing the universe while jimmy wales 5x fists my anus

feel certain okcupid is not beneficial for my life

damn/fuck

u r a lucky duck

never mind

'so blessed'

2011-01-11T03:08:00.000-08:00

poem i wrote is at 'o sweet flowery roses' an online journal thing edited by russell jaffe

and i think three more forthcoming in 'unsure if i will allow my beard to grow for much longer'

thx y'all

2011-01-10T21:10:00.000-08:00

an 'ushanka' is a russian fur hat with fold down ear flaps
and my roommate owns one
or i don't know maybe it is another kind of hat
sometimes i look at him from a distance and it's hard to tell
is he wearing a hat or is it just his hair

lipton chicken noodle soup has an unhealthy amount of sodium i think
someone told me to crack an egg in my soup and i did
but it was a bad idea, it tasted terrible
the egg didn't cook properly
i'm not sure if i did it right though
but whatever the soup is too salty

my sister used to be allergic to eggs
but she got over it somehow
she can eat them now
maybe she was never allergic to eggs
maybe she just didn't like them

youtube is a good place to find instructional videos
people post videos of different tricks that you can do with a zippo lighter
and i learned how to cook a lot of things from watching youtube
people think i like to cook but i don't
i would rather someone cook something for me
actually forget it i don't really care either way

it was so cold this morning
i went underneath my blanket and rolled into a ball
i pretended i was in some kind of nest
then i heard someone listening to fleetwood mac
and wondered if it was ok to like fleetwood mac
i think it's ok to like fleetwood mac

if i did something bad
like if i got really drunk and said bad things to people
then they would have less respect for me
and that would probably make me feel regret

sometimes i wonder if i am 'ruined' as a person
like i have made too many small mistakes
and people will stop pretending stuff never happened
and will stop hanging out with me

i don't want to do something bad
and ruin my life forever
i don't know why i say bad things about people
i need to think about my life
what is important to me
relationships
i think
i don't know

victoria bc best place on earth

2011-01-09T05:37:00.000-08:00

is felictas the best bar in victoria

no really

i just saw the loose cannons and slam dunk at felicitas

and yeah

it was a good show

the bartender called me 'bro'

there were some other bands but i was drinking beer in a car during their sets

'sorry'

what i saw was sweet though

oh, but campus security thought my gf was drunk and told her to leave

but she wasn't drunk

so, yeah

that was lame

but, idk, felicitas is kinda fun

logan's is ok too, though sometimes 'too fernwoody'

i like to go to lucky sometimes, when i feel like i need a 'club atmosphere'

victoria bc is pretty boring

if people are looking for excitement, i don't recommend they move here

when i came home tonight there was a party going on

and it sucked

so yeah...

i need to shave

DRUNK SONNET 22 and other shit

2011-01-07T05:59:00.000-08:00

sup bitches/bitchettes

drunk right now so yeah

decided i would update my blog while drunk

i did a video for daniel bailey's drunk sonnets and i'm waiting for that shit to load

34%

post it when it's done

and yeah

downloaded bastard by tyler the creator last week and fuck yeah

fave album that came out in 2010 probably

swag swag swag (i am white)

what else

here's a poem from my tumblr that people liked http://zacharywhalen.tumblr.com/post/2612945228/house-meeting

my friend andrew posted this video featuring him and greg lester

ana c. posted this poem on her blog

58%

i sent a poem to http://osfrjournal.blogspot.com/

i sent three poems to http://offandonandoff.blogspot.com/

should i even disclose that information

fuck

what else

i did this squashed-ass video http://vimeo.com/18518867 and yeah, i ate the rest of the cucumber a few hours ago

78% kill me

gotta keep blogging i guess

umm ted williams... i think i have a good radio voice too... or i can manipulate it to sound good or something... fuck...

umm snooki... her book... i've never watched jersey shore... i would read it though...

umm i don't know... what is 'in the news' right now... i don't have tv... not because i am 'against tv' but i just don't have it

i like tv

wish i had tv right now

tv would tell me what to blog about

al roker

oh yeah, wait, a dog pooped in my basement today, is that bloggable

anyway, it's clean now... so...

idk, it smelled bad 'at the time'

94%

'converting' now

ok

what else

jj kills

alright

here it is

big deal

whatevs

DRUNK SONNET 22 from Zachary Whalen on Vimeo.

alright, thanks for participating, gonna crack one more and then i'm out, l8er

shitz

2011-01-04T00:37:00.000-08:00

i'm back from my vacation now

i live in victoria, bc. this is a blog about victoria by somebody who i don't know http://truthbetoldvictoria.blogspot.com/

my sister sent me this photo

so yeah, i guess my snowman is dead now, RIPz

i posted this 'personal appeal' on my tumblr:

a personal appeal from HOT DOG PARTY ‘founder’ zachary whalen
hey
i don’t have any money
i don’t want anybody to give me any money
but there are a lot of books/things that i want to read though but i can’t give anybody money
money
i don’t know
i don’t want to offend people
but if somebody has books/things they want people to read and they don’t care about money they could send them to me
i will review your book on my blog (zacharywhalen.blogspot.com)
i mean, i don’t know
i’m scared that people will think this is ‘inconsiderate’ or something
i don’t want people to think i am ‘cheap’
but yeah, like my credit card is ‘maxed out’ or something, so it doesn’t work
i feel like some people don’t care either way, like they have ‘extra’ books lying around or something maybe
but like, is it lame that i am asking people to email me, instead of me emailing them
it seems easier to just do this though
i guess there is also shipping/handling, but i could probably pay for that, or something
basically, i just want people to email me if they are interested in sending me stuff
like you could even just email me a document or something, that would be perfect
just email me or something, i’ll be your friend, everything will be ‘chill’
you could just email me and be like ‘hey…’
you don’t even have to send me anything, we can just be friends
ok, well
my email is zacharywhalen@gmail.com
send me spam/whatever
i’ll be your friend

seems 'desperate' i guess

i hope that good things happen

it's 2k11 now, i'm going back to school for the first time in like, four years

i hope everything is ok

i hope this year doesn't suck

i should have some goals or something

but i don't

2k10 was ok

better than 2k9

kkk

kill me

sup...

real shitz

2010-12-23T23:53:00.000-08:00

i ate fried chicken two days in a row

then i made a snowman

nirvana kurt cobain

2010-12-17T09:14:00.000-08:00

i'm having a flu or something

is that right, 'having a flu,' does that make sense

my back is really sore and i have to piss a lot

i started playing metroid prime on my brother's wii the other day

i played it 'on and off' for like ~2 days

then i died and i decided i didn't really like it and didn't know why i was playing it

that was yesterday, i remember being really annoyed by it

now i don't know what to do

i feel really weak

i might watch a movie or something

i keep coughing and i hate the way my dick feels right now

iStockphoto

2010-12-15T02:34:00.000-08:00

updated my template, made my blog look more generic

will probably change it again soon

i don't like the way it looks right now

i'm in new brunswick right now

some books i brought with me:

life after god by douglas coupland - still reading this. i'm on the last story right now. seems like he has a 'gimmick' of inserting shopping malls and mcdonald's on every page to make his stories more 'modern' or something. sometimes it's ok, sometimes it's just corny and obvious. other than that, i sort of like this book. eventually i just got into it and stopped caring about whether or not the writing was shitty. less satirical and more personal than other books i have read by him. maybe i will like it less/more when i finish it. i don't know, i don't really know about this book.

the abortion by richard brautigan - i started reading this book then i stopped before i finished the first chapter. i was feeling really tired at the time so i don't know if this book is shitty or i'm just not in the mood. it reminds me of tom robbins, which is not good. i don't like when someone is always trying to be 'clever' in their writing... seems like a lot of 'hippie' authors are always trying to be 'clever.' does anybody know if this book is shitty. if someone tells me this book is not shitty then i will read it.

tales of love and loss by knut hamsun - i've only read the first few stories in this. seems good. i like knut hamsun a lot.

if on a winter's night a traveller by italo calvino - i really liked this book but i felt it lost some steam about halfway in... maybe it got repetitive... i don't know. by the end i didn't really care what was happening or what was going to happen. that's actually not a big deal because the plot doesn't really matter in this book, but i did feel that something was lacking near the end. but whatever, i feel like i've been shit-talking this book too much. it's actually really good. people should read it. (and read invisible cities, which is better)

other books i brought with me: lord nelson tavern by ray smith, death on the installment plan by celine. i haven't started reading them yet.

a few nights ago i watched the movie 'multiplicity' starring michael keaton

in the movie michael keaton gets cloned a bunch of times

i think at the end of the movie all his clones ride away in a red convertible

i don't know, i was falling asleep a lot at that point

jimmy wales...

howhighmovie.com

2010-12-13T06:07:00.000-08:00

what is this blog

should i delete this blog

do people still blog

do people read my blog

do i have any opinions/thoughts about anything

'this room smells like salsa'

'reading some books'

'my cat did something funny'

'it's raining today'

going to type weird things into google video search now

frantically searching for something weird to post on tumblr

cool t-shirts

2010-11-24T20:40:00.000-08:00

there is some snow here.

this type of movie appeals to me, i think:

MDMA (TRAILER 1) from MDMAfilms on Vimeo.

i stand inside of chapters a lot, does that make me 'uncool'/'mainstream'. i drink coffee at the starbucks inside chapters. i look at magazines inside chapters. there used to be an erotica section inside chapters, but isn't anymore or they moved it, i don't know. i bought 'the new bedside playboy' at chapters for $6. i think i will read it on a airplane. i don't have an 'irewards' card. standing in chapters makes me feel like i don't exist. it's an ok feeling.

this is such a dumb post. what is going on. someone post a link to something in the comments or whatever.

i don't know what's going on with the line breaks in blogger. i can't remember how to fix this shit.

shit.

something else, i wrote a thing for the year 1591.

here's a kraftwerk song:

i am a good person to bring to the mall. i have 'good taste' in women's clothes. i know 'what works'.

two things i read today because they were free via the internet

2010-11-19T03:45:00.000-08:00

one of the reasons that i am awake right now is unemployment. that is also a reason why i don't have a lot of money. i find it difficult to 'stay current' (re: new books and print journals) due to my lack of 'purchasing power.' therefore i am happy when there are books that i can read for free. that is why i am happy right now.

two things i read today:

i am like october when i am dead by steve roggenbuck. i read a review by zachary german this morning. i vaguely remember seeing other people 'hyping it' in previous days. i googled 'steve roggenbuck' and then i looked at the blog of steve roggenbuck. his blog looked 'sweet.' the book that i am talking about right now was available via his blog and i read it. i liked it. i like poems that juxtapose 'surreal' images with images from 'everyday.' this book is a good example of how that can be done effectively with poems that are really brief/tightly packed. i feel like i have heard people complain before about poems that are really short, like when you buy a book full of short poems you're not getting 'bang for your buck.' i don't know, probably only shitty people have ever complained about that. anyway, this book is free, so yeah.

my favorite poem from the book:

the hymnal at my grandmothers funeral says 'wives be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the lord'

five months ago i saw a video of a dog being thrown into a garbage compactor

pop serial #1. i'm reading this right now. seems like pop serial was getting 'hyped like crazy' via people mentioning the kickstarter campaign for issue 2. seems like a lot of cool people are involved with this mag. i wish my 'good vibes' toward this project could have somehow been transformed into money, but looks like the funding has been successful so that's good. anyway because i am ignorant i only just found out that issue 1 is available via pdf at the website. it is a really huge mag, i'm kind of 'blown away.' i'm a little too tired to check out the stories right now, just looking through the poems at the moment. i will probably be looking at this pdf a lot during the coming days. feel like there is 'something for everybody' in this mag. really want to hype the zachary german poems but feels like that would be weird somehow (via my name also being 'zachary'). i'll definitely be getting my hands on a copy of issue 2 (once i pay off some of my credit card debt).

cool spot (the game)

2010-11-17T13:12:00.000-08:00

new wave vomit 128 is five new poems by me. i feel 'super good' right now, thanks ana c.

i have a twitter now. feel 'pumped' about 'expanding my brand' into yet another social media outlet. probably going to tweet like crazy for 2-3 days and then experience a twitter 'od' which will cause me to feel ashamed/embarrassed and stop tweeting for approximately one week. seems to be the typical 'introductory phase' re twitter.

i am so sleep deprived right now that it is making me feel like i'm on drugs. i want to stop sleeping forever and feel like this for the rest of my life. seems possible.

everything

2010-11-13T01:53:00.000-08:00

is all over us god damn

can i breathe

with all of you forever

oh hell yeah

my back-alley abortions are selling like hotcakes

hemp necklace

2010-11-04T01:21:00.000-07:00

i saw a mouse yesterday. it was standing on a plate full of cigarette butts and then it jumped somewhere and i couldn't see it anymore. the house i live in is going to be demolished next year. everything inside is all fucked up. there are things that live in the garbage and they eat the garbage and they eat each other. there is a cat inside my house that doesn't belong to anybody.

'the books in my life' by henry miller

2010-10-20T10:43:00.000-07:00

i think i have been reading 'the books in my life' by henry miller for over a year and somehow i still haven't finished it.

the book is only 315 pages but parts are very boring and hard to follow. the print is small and hard to read.

i've been hung up on the 'letter to pierre lesdain' chapter of the book for months now. seems just really long and rambling.

i remember parts of this book being really good, making it somehow 'worth it' to keep reading.

i'm looking forward to the 'reading on the toilet' chapter. seems intriguing.

i will probably have a mixed but vaguely positive feeling regarding this book once i am done reading it.

seems like a good book to read a chapter of while waiting for clothes to dry at the laundromat.

epitaph in wingdings

2010-10-16T13:27:00.000-07:00

wake up every morning feeling alarmed/ashamed in regards to my continuing existence. get up, shower, go back to sleep, get up, shower, get dressed.

sometimes the sky looks like tv.

sometimes the sky looks like a big pink penis with a happy face.

in the most depressing universe the song would be called 'stop believing' and the band would be called 'sedentary existence'.

i lift a cat over my head and look at him for a long time.

pepto

2010-10-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

don't swallow the burning.

oh shit you swallowed it.

i was sad when you died rat but your memory lives on in this disturbing cake (and also the lingering smell of your rot). happy birthday!

watch 'simpsons' episodes online

2010-10-08T16:46:00.000-07:00

do condoms rot when you leave them in your wallet too long

do you ever pee in the shower yes/no

to live for so many years is embarrassing

sup...

cash4gold

2010-10-08T01:06:00.000-07:00

torch all the houses

all the rooms all the people

every time i leave this place i feel ashamed

it's hard to piss with an awkward boner

it's hard to live

with an awkward boner oh jesus i'm going insane

i want to grab your pussy and destroy

everything oh jesus

'mafia wars'

2010-10-07T01:48:00.000-07:00

tonight the whole world looks like a landing strip.

we imagined it was the future and all the humans were different humans and our bones were decayed into whatever.

the cat was invisible because it is dead.

in the future, everybody who was alive is dead, but our sadness lives on in names like kazoo and applebee's.

2% milk

2010-10-06T00:57:00.000-07:00

i feel like a pioneer of the wilderness.

drank a whole world of disgusting and now i live inside that world (even though my body is all around it).

we've eaten too many lights and now who will help us canoe towards safety?

i present you with this coat of many eventual furs.

free ipad

2010-10-05T02:00:00.000-07:00

rat's gonna be a reality tv star. gonna look at you rat with cameras. rat's gonna be famous.

rat: "free peanut butter. 'too good to be true.' almost broke my neck anyway. fuck that."

hantavirus has an incubation period of 2-4 weeks in humans.

i am in the cold air between television channels.

Grow your business

2010-10-04T14:04:00.000-07:00

cat ate a bird from a sky.

rat ate a peanut and all of its butter.

trap ate nothing. not hungry.

dinosaurs

2010-10-01T19:04:00.000-07:00

there are many crows today, all of them up in a tree making a terrifying noise. and there is wind blowing cans around the deck. the cat is sleeping on a dirty tarp in the sun. the air itself is rotting invisibly.

i think the day is over now.

i am feeling fucked up today.

the game is afoot

2010-09-30T21:12:00.000-07:00

prolonged encounter with the rat in the basement tonight. brought the cat in for assistance but the cat does not want to get involved. peanut butter trap has so far proved ineffective. the rat has retreated to his junk-pile hideout. i am still sleeping on the couch.

captured photo evidence:

the rat is identifiable by its crooked tail; walks with a pronounced limp.

liveblogging rat terror 2010

2010-09-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

i met the rat last night. and the insect horde.

the cat was conspicuously absent.

implementing peanut butter trap contingency and sleeping on the couch tonight.

roll over

2010-09-29T00:09:00.000-07:00

i don't think i can sleep right now. yes i can, forget it.

my feeling is embarrassed to be alive.

i keep the broomstick close to my chest country imagining creatures big like raccoons or small like pigeons according to my logic. creatures that could fit into windows ajar.

bass line intros puts me at easy.

#1 tip of a flat belly.

2010-09-28T16:26:00.000-07:00

dreamed the earth was being taken over by aliens who were humans and i sold out all my friends and hid a gun in the waistband of my sweatpants.

woke up and poked a broomstick into the corners of my room but no rat.

drank 4 cans of pepsi and sat in a chair.

horrible times

2010-09-26T14:19:00.000-07:00

"rat wall"

there was a rat in my room last night. i threw a cat at the rat. the rat escaped.

i built a wall in front of the curtains that form the "door" to my room. i hope it will keep the rat out.

i will have difficulty sleeping tonight.

andrew is a glowing orange man.

"how to talk dirty and influence people" by lenny bruce

2010-09-21T02:00:00.000-07:00

this is a pretty famous autobiography, i think. i thought it was ok. the first half of the book was pretty exciting, describing his childhood, a time he worked on a farm, his time in the navy dury world war 2, his beginnings in "showbiz," his time in the merchant marine, his marriage, his money-making schemes, his divorce, and some other stuff. the second half of the book mostly talks about his various arrests and trials and seems to get a little repetitive . there are a lot of "rants" in this book that were maybe provocative for their time but now seem, i don't know. i think what i like about this book is the prose-style, which seems to be constantly jumping away on tangents but somehow never slowing down the narrative. like, the events in the book seem to pass in a very concise, straight-forward manner while various "bits" are thrown in very fast so as not to become distracting. so, yeah, i don't know, seemed like a very "smooth" read. probably a good book to pick up and read if you are into lenny bruce or stand-up comedy or if you just want to read something that will be mildly entertaining/interesting and won't take too much effort.

if i was a robot right now i think i would be ok with that

2010-09-20T05:40:00.000-07:00

filmed myself sleeping for approximately 8 hours today (~8:00 am - ~4:00 pm). not sure why.

scraped my roommate's textured ceiling for approximately 30 minutes today.

drank beer and filmed people drinking beer and occasionally scraping my roommate's textured ceiling for approximately 4 hours today. edited the footage into a short movie called "scrapers." thought about filming a short movie everyday but then decided it sounds like something i would probably give up on after less than a week.

started writing a book last week about masturbating. not sure if i am "doing this as a joke" or i am serious. i think i am serious (secretly). will probably never finish it/get it published.

hardly wrote anything all summer. hardly writing anything now (other than possibly "masturbation book"). been watching a lot of seinfeld. read a few books. i will probably write about them later. might read "the savage detectives" tomorrow. might read "seinlanguage" tomorrow.

going to get a glass of water now and eat a piece of raisin bread.

'the drunk sonnets' by daniel bailey

2010-09-18T13:01:00.000-07:00

daniel bailey got drunk a bunch of times and wrote a bunch of sonnets and then he made a book out of them and everybody read the book and everybody thought it was great and after everybody read the book i bought the book and i read the book and i also thought the book was great and so i reread the book many times and thought about the book for about a week and then i started writing this sentence and then i felt a little embarrassed for talking about the book long after all the "hype" is over and not really having anything to say about it that someone else hasn't said already in words that probably make more sense than anything i could ever come up with so whatever i guess i would like to say something like "this book is like a crazy homeless man that runs into your bedroom screaming and distributing xeroxed pamphlets in a haphazard fashion but somehow he ends up becoming your best friend and you ride a ferris wheel together and you both stare off at the distant lights of the earth and the stars in the sky and contemplate the mistakes you've made in your respective lives in a calm, accepting manner."

http://magichelicopterpress.com/drunk.htm

'mostly spinach' by joseph goosey

2010-09-18T11:36:00.000-07:00

joseph goosey tore up his existence and then he put it through a meat grinder with the lifestyles and police blotter sections from various local newspapers and then he sprinkled the pieces over a really sweaty orgy and then later he scraped the fluids and debris off the floor and into a dustpan and then he ate it all and then he wrote this book, i think.

http://virgograypress.wordpress.com/2010/07/13/joseph-gooseys-mostly-spinach/